Oh Life how you have kicked me around. Oh Emotions how you have taken a big toll on me. Oh Health, how big of a battle we have had this year. But yet even through that, I still can’t stop thanking you for what you do in me.
I hurt, I’m drained, I lose, I win but I still have faith. Maybe I won’t ever be healed. Maybe I will always have these struggles. One thing I can say is that no matter what, God has been too good to me for me not to follow him.
Through ups and downs, I’ve always tried to be me. But some days I feel like I have to put a mask on and say “Everything is fine”. Although inside I’m dying.
That’s how it feels sometimes when you don’t want to worry family, friends or significant others. Something I’ve learned is that I need to continue to allow people in. You see that’s never been easy for me. I’ve always been independent. LIKE SUPER INDEPENDENT.
I never needed anyone or never wanted to accept help. You see my mom showed us to not depend on anyone because we need to able to do it ourselves. I took it I think too literal. I don’t ask for help, I don’t let anyone know I struggle nor do I let someone know that I’m sick.
I guess that ended when I started this blog. Yes, I’m sick 65% of the year. Yes i’ve gained weight because of it. Yes, I take medicine once a day for my health. No, I don’t believe that God is unfair or unjust. No I don’t think I should be silent.
But through it all I have to remember, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:29-31
The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. But God! 
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