Open Eyes

Alright, so where did I even begin?

Well, it all started in the very beginning where guy meets girl and girl meets guy. I was in a relationship for two years and that was the relationship that I thought was going to last forever. But, obviously I said “was in a relationship”.

Well, what recently happened impacted me in a way that i didn’t think it was and in a very good manner. They really do mean it when they say that you learn things the hard way. I was broken up with in a kinda harsh way. I was ignored, blocked, and disrespected for a whole two weeks. I ignored all the hurt that was caused because I was blinded by the “love” that he gave me. Fast forward, he broke up with me and of course I was very sad. I cried for two month straight and cried a little bit of times throughout also. I didn’t tell anyone because I felt embarrassed. I was hurt. I still tried to fight for what we had for three weeks.

Eventually, I gave up because nothing was happening. I stopped talking to him completely, was blocked from every social media, and even my phone number was blocked. All connection was lost.

Untill,

June 1st came around and that was the day where it all began again. Was it going to be a happy ending or was it a bad ending? I remember the day like it was yesterday. I remember waking up to go to work and I looked down at my phone and saw that I had a DM from Instagram. I had no idea who it was. So, i open instagram and i see his name. I couldn’t believe my eyes. When I saw his name like everything froze and immediately I thought “we are going to get back together and it’s going to be like old times” well, that didn’t happen. He texted me when it was almost my birthday and the message said “hey, I know it’s you’re birthday this month and I wanted to say happy birthday in case I didn’t have the chance to say it the day of…” That message is how it all started. We talked for two weeks and it felt like old times. I was happy again and I was thinking the whole time “we are getting back together” I was still kinda attached so what I did made it hard to do what I did.

Continuing, we talked and then it came to the point where he would talk to me about other girls that he would look at and what he would do with other girls and that’s when I stopped him. I remember writing a paragraph saying “I can’t listen to this (because I was still attached) I don’t want to listen to you talking about other girls and getting with them and etc. I thought that you came back and that we would be together again, but obviously you’re not the same guy that I fell in love with and adored so much for two years. So, I’m just going to leave now, cut all connections, and that was the end of an era.” So, after I said that all he says back was “good bye, Dany” and I said good bye also and that was the last thing that we have said to each other.

I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t feel bad or sad because I did. After I said good bye I started crying and I was hurt alllllllll over again. I said to myself like “why am I crying?” So, I stopped crying and I went to sleep.

The next morning was a Sunday and I had the devotional that Sunday morning. I didn’t want to sing, I didn’t want to go to church, all I wanted to do was sit down, and mope. When the pastor was starting to preach I told God in my head that I want him to talk to me. I didn’t care if he was yelling or anything I just wanted him to speak to me.

So, it was the end of the preaching and it was time to minister. I was singing while my father was ministering. No one ever prays for me while I’m singing, but that Sunday was the day that I felt like I needed it the most, so I didn’t expect anything was going to happen next. My father calls me up to the alter and I was walking with the mindset of that he’s going to ask me for a favor to like get him water or get him something he needed. But, when he pulled me close to him to where he can speak into my ear was the moment that I realized that I was going to get what I asked for.

God speak to me

I remember clear as day what God said to me through my father. He said “God says to stop looking with your eyes. (When he said that I immediately knew what he was taking about) You need to fall in love with me (God) first and then I’ll show you what real love is. I already have a prince for you that is going to love you how love should be. It’s not going to be the type of love that you thought was love, but it’s going to be a genuine love. He’s going to fall in love with me also. Focus on me and everything will come on MY time, but fall in love with me first” ever since I heard that I felt like the biggest relief ever, I felt like weight got off my shoulders, and I could finally breathe. I didn’t feel hurt anymore. I have finally moved on and I didn’t feel attached anymore. My eyes were open and all I focused on was falling more in love with him (God).

My eyes were open.