BUT God!

There are times in my life where I have to sit down, stop, and think of all of the moments that have occurred. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, and so on. When the sun is coming down, and I look into the heavens, I always ask God, “Why Me? Why do you love me so much? Why do I have so much value in your eyes? Why am I worth it?” Most importantly of all, however, I tell him “How can I not love you? How can I not want more of your divine presence? How can I not want more of your relentless love? How can I not want to see your glory? How Can I not worship you with all my heart and soul?”

Many can hear my story and question my relationship with God; how is it possible to love someone you haven’t seen yet? That’s the beauty of it all. Although I cannot see him, he has always been there. He has never abandoned me. How I said before the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, and so on.

From a very young age I loved worshiping God. Since I can remember, all I did was sing worship songs. I was born into a Christian home. Both of my parents were followers of Christ; they too sang and worshiped him. All of that changed when they separated. My mother, brother, and I moved into another State. It was very hard for me because to me, my father was my super hero. Our relationship wasn’t the same after that. A year passes and I am sexually abused But God restored my broken soul. A couple of more years pass and I’m an adult now. I am in a relationship. Many would define this relationship a “Blessed” relationship because both of us were active leaders in our churches. The saddest thing about this story is it was the complete contrary. I was emotionally, verbally, and physically abused. As each day passed all I kept thinking was “Will I ever have the courage to get out of this relationship?” He had complete control over my life. He hated my family, friends and church. Everything I ever did was never acceptable and still he would look me into my eyes and tell me “No one will ever love you the way I do.” But God gave me the courage I thought I would never have.

I was forgotten, lost, and broken, But God did the impossible; he did what no human being on earth could do. He healed my mind, heart, and soul. That is where my worship comes from.

My life could have a different story BUT GOD.